there will be cake

DH got us a great Christmas present - a cast iron Bundt pan. God bless this man, he loves cake as much as I do. Of course, we had to break it in and to do so, he wanted to make a tasty recipe he found on Instagram... of all things, it was a delightful poundcake. Well hey, thank goodness I'm over here training for an endurance race, right? I mean, I'm burning so many calories, some days it's been too hard for me to consume enough calories, why not use a homemade cake to replace some of them? Yeah, I can lighten up the cake a bit, and it really won't be any issue, since I'm burning so many calories every day... right? Spoiler alert: I was wrong, and feedback from the scale was my weight went up despite many hours of me swimming, biking, running and weightlifting. 

Truth be told, I really did have the calories to spare and if we're talking only about the cake, there would have been no issue. But it's never that simple. The reality was that in addition to eating the cake (and tracking it) I wanted more sugar all week. I ate (and tracked) chocolate chips, extra raisins and dates... I foraged for cookies, candy and more chocolate. So the weight gain wasn't only from the cake, but all the additional sugar I don't usually have. Sugar begets wanting more sugar, for me. Also being honest, looking at the reports, my net calories in was never higher than my burn rate other than one day, where I was 200 over, but that's still in a maintenance range for me. Perhaps my weight gain there was an indication of how my body treats sugar - maybe my body stores it, and doesn't burn it. It seems like it just saves it. Maybe? 

In any case, thankfully the cake is gone. I am nailing my workouts and seeing improvements in all areas. I supplement my swimming, biking and running with Caroline Girvin's Iron series, yoga classes, stretching, and doggie walks. I had a blip last week where I really didn't sleep well, and I felt very run-down for a couple of days. But I took that direct feedback from my body and laid low during my down-time, and got some extra sleep - that got me right back to feeling great again. There's a good chance the extra sugar had also contributed to my feeling sluggish. I'm back to eating well and planning meals, en route to becoming the best triathlete I can be. 

My takeaway? The next time we make a cake [let's be real, there will be cake] I'll slice it up and freeze portions, rather than work on consuming it in a week. And I may need to make sure there's absolutely no other sugar around, or at least move all things sweet into the basement fridge, to make it a little harder to access. 

Hope you are all having a great healthy week. Do your best and make the next decision a good one...

Long swims, and rides, and runs with God...

Well, six weeks into organized training and here I am starting recovery week #2, which looks absolutely GLORIOUS. Basically, my training plan is a series of 4-week segments where you build on week 1, build more on week 2, REALLY build on week 3, and then you get a recovery week. Then you start the next segment, at a higher level than the last segment, and repeat these months up until race month. I am up to 2800-yard swims, 90-minute trainer rides, 2+ hour outside rides (I was lucky enough to get one outdoor ride in January here in Denver, so far), and 90-minute runs, which are about 8.2-ish miles for me right now. I'm not breaking any speed records for any of this, just building my base. I feel great, no joint pain, manageable muscle soreness, pretty good mental state. I am tired for sure, but I am progressing, and it's fun and SUPER amazing for me to watch. I am so happy I am doing this! 

In the land of motivation or mindfulness, whatever we want to call it, this week I picked up something along the lines of: Get honest with why you are doing what you are doing. If you are doing something to tell a great story, you may not want to do it, you might be seeking external validation. But if you are doing something to have an experience, well, then it's likely you really want to do it. So, be honest about the answer to the question "Why you are doing whatever it is that occupies your time?" 

2019 Oktoberfest Triathlon, Longmont, CO

As far as triathlon goes, the answer is, and always has been, I do this for fun for ME. I like to swim, ride and run, BONUS if I can find other people to join me to play outside. No wonder I met my husband in a swimming pool, at a triathlon club swim workout. I didn't go there to find a husband and believe me I never would have DREAMED I would meet my future husband while wearing a swimsuit in a public pool. I didn't join my first sprint triathlon race to beat my brother - I joined because he signed up and it sounded like so much fun. It was fun 20+ years ago, and for me it still is, today.

If I look at my pre-2022 life, quite a bit of how I was living was done for the approval or praise of someone other than me or God. Not that I didn't enjoy a lot of it (I mean, twist my arm, Acme Company, you want me to spend 2 weeks in Paris, Hong Kong, London, Germany, Panama, and put me up at a 4-star hotel? Sure thing!) But I did what I thought I should be doing because that was someone else's definition of How to be Successful. I met their definition, almost every time - my boss, my dad, my mom, my sister, my husband... and success to me, meant being successful in their eyes? But is that actually success?

I've now had a full year off from Corporate America. I have no intention of returning to it in the same capacity as when I left it and am undecided as to whether I will return to it at all. One of the best benefits of training for an endurance event is the solo time I get to spend, and finding I like keeping my own company. And then God shows up, too, every single time, whether or not I am aware, whether or not I ask. I do find myself making small asks - please don't let me drown, please don't let this injure me, please help me best that last interval by one second... But also, big ones. Please help me understand how I can help my mom. Help me understand how to be a better wife, friend, sister, in-law, etc. Please help me see the path that will bring me to my best self in the way you set out for me. Please help me understand what success for me looks like, and help point my steps in the direction you created me to take...

And the answer? Keep going, in this direction, one stroke, one pedal, one step more, one mile more. Keep lending an ear and a hand to your mom. Keep your house going, keep making it a nice refuge for your husband, you and the dogs to enjoy. Listen to your friends and family when they need an ear, no need to solve their problems, just keep being there to help them work out the best solution for them. Keep mentoring. Keep volunteering. Keep writing. Keep showing up for your WW members. You're on the right path. Keep going. I have never let you down, and I'm not about to start now. And my honest answer? Thank you. I am doing that, and I love it all, so thank you for the opportunity to continue it.

This is all a leap of faith. I have no idea how anything will work out, none of us do. But that's part of it, to keep the faith as we follow the path, even if we can't see or know what's around the next bend. Just go one more step, pedal or stroke, and trust the universe that in the end, everything is unfolding exactly as it should. 

alignment, strength, connection and something else...

Those were my "words for 2023" in one of those 'whatever words you see first is your mantra for 2023' thingies. They definitely resonated with me, and really are carry-overs from the past year. I've been actively working to align my life with the people, goals and experiences that are truly important to me. I have made GREAT connections along the way and am looking forward to strengthening my relationships. I feel I have been physically and mentally strong in general, in my past, but I'm really seeing growth in both types of strength since stepping away from working full time at the end of 2021. 2022 really was a year to gain clarity - I'm not sure that was my intent, but that is what happened. Without that clarity, I wouldn't be able to pivot my focus so that it aligns with the people and things I value. I really have been moving toward doing things I love, with and for people I love, with a faith that it will all work out, and lo and behold I feel stronger, I feel more connected, I feel HAPPY and GRATEFUL. I kind of feel like I'm as content now as I seem here in this baby pic of me! So yes, the 2023 words alignment, strength and connection definitely resonated. I can't remember the fourth word. Oh well it will show up, like clarity did for 2022, right?

I'm not one for resolutions, but I actually do want to clean and streamline a shelf or drawer every day in January. This is inspired by our recent trip where we moved my in-laws back into their house after a fire. In their case, insurance charged per-item to clean and restore. This included unused mason jars (small canning jars). Seriously? But it did make me think, what in my house is worth cleaning and restoring? I'd like to keep only those things. We have a lot of unusable items that should be tossed or repaired, and also a lot of useful items that we no longer need (or never enjoy using), so we can pass them along to those who will love them. Managing "a shelf or drawer a day" will get me through our bedroom and bathroom in January, and likely the upstairs closets. Adulting is so fun, isn't it?

Training is going very well. I am progressing well, I can feel myself getting stronger and more fit, it's amazing. And the data doesn't lie. My running, swimming and biking are all showing improvement. My coach's philosophy is not to train to a number or a place in a race, just get as fit as you can so you can have your best performance. And my philosophy these days is "How far can I go? How good CAN I be?" So here we are in alignment, I'm doing the workouts, I feel great, my coach is helping me get to my best, and I want to keep on keepin' on! She prescribed a New Year's Day long run for me, for 75 minutes. I was afraid to do this because I wasn't sure I could, but then I just got up and did it... and got way more out of it than I expected!

So for that long run, I didn't exactly know my route, I didn't know the bathrooms along my route, and I didn't use the bathroom before I started the run. Mile three was VERY UNCOMFORTABLE until I stumbled on the McDonald's, then things got MUCH better! Of course, this was never my normal running route, and I wasn't running with my phone, so I didn't exactly know how to get myself home. All the houses looked the same, the street names were all similar, and with no map nor any cue sheet, I got lost. By the time I got to familiar territory and could sort myself out, the run ended up being 90 minutes. Let's just say I learned some valuable lessons that day, which is the point of training! Mostly I learned that when $h!t happens, I can handle it and carry on just fine, and I'm a lot stronger than I think I am. I really am happy that even though I got lost, the extra 15-minute detour was no big deal on my body nor my mind. Go, ME!

That said, training continues and I'm about to head to the pool. We got in yesterday afternoon, I unpacked and did my bike workout, today is a swim and a run so yep, I just keep on keepin' on, indeed. Hope you are all setting yourself up for a great healthy week. HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone! I hope it is your best one yet. :)